exhausted

"When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago" - Friedrich Nietzsche

I was too tired to do aynthing. I did get my peddles on and I tried getting in and out of them but I was exhausted. It was getting late and lucky for me I would have been caught in the ran. I been having problems with my leg. Looking back I bet its from biking since how could being off your feet for 8 weeks cause you to have overuse problems with your legs now. I did pick up my room more because I know that I need to get it clean. Now that I got my tv I can throw away some of my old stuff that let me use a monitor as a TV. It just occured to me. I am trying to make my life more simple and more easier. I will do that once I convert my old vhs tapes to DVD. only a few tapes I will pack away. Problem with packing things away is you may never need them so you store them for no reason.

My spiritual teacher who claims enlightenment who I have no reason not beleive him at all told me this basicly. When he is tired that is when he gets into the most trouble. Every bad thing in his life comes when he is tired. That is very true. I been so tired all week its not even funny. Speaking of tired my weight today is back up to 302.2. I knew the 200+ was too good to be true but I also know it takes awhile for me to stay completely at one wieght. heck even getting this low was a challege. Now that I am working its even more so.

Tonight I am off to Lake arlington to try to run with people who are way way too fast for me. :). I am also thinking about getting a water belt for work. I like to walk at lunch and the water belt would make drinking easier while I am eating my lunch. carring the water bottle is such a pain.

Gay Games do not look good. like 2 years ago they were suggesting finisher medals and I think if they got them this year they would advertise. I seen nothing on the gay running clubs web sites that they have them either. I think I would be better to pass on it and just focus on keeping up with the 11 min milers during the training runs.

Rain Rain go away

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei
Traffic in the morning sucks. Causes me to get to work later than usualy plus I am always just so tired.

Good news/ bad news

Good news this morning the scale said I weight 299.8. yeah I made it I am the worlds greatest. I been getting close since cleveland and I been going up and down ever since. Hopely I can focus and get it to atleast 295 soon. yeah me. It would be nice if I do get to run the gay games that it will be down to 290.

Yes I was embrassed to tell this cute girl that runs on tuesday night that I want to run in the gay games. maybe my dad is right that I should not run but how many hetrosexuals get to compete?

Also I did not get my chance to tell Stephanie what I wanted to tell her. She should be there saturday I think so then maybe I will get my chance then. She is so cool. I hope to see her there. I guess I better get to the high school on time then even though the training says 7 I may try 14. hehe All depends what I do on friday I guess. I hope the guy gets back to me soon.

Last night I did about 3.5 miles at 11 mins and the rest at like 1.5. I felt problems in my legs so I slowed way down. I figure no shooting pains is better than getting them even for a moment. I think my form is off and I need to fix it. Satuday I can start going to the doctor and I may go ahaead and do that.

Do you like the quotes?

Races will be hopely finished tonight. Thank you haight for giving me the idea.

Trick is to keep breathing

"Men are born to success, not fail." - Henry David Thoreau

Well with the possiblity of a marathon in 4 weeks I have my 4 week training scedule
tuesday - 6 miles
wednesday bike 1 1/2 hours
thursday - 6 miles
saturday - run 14 miles
sunday bike 2 hours

week 2

tuesday - 6 miles
wednesday bike 1 1/2 hours
thursday - 6 miles
saturday - run 18 miles
sunday bike 2 hours

week 3

tuesday - 5 miles
wednesday bike 1 1/2 hours
thursday - 4 miles
saturday - run 12 miles
sunday bike 2 hours

marathon week

tuesday - 3 miles
wednesday bike 1/2 hours
thursday - 0 miles
saturday - run 26.2 miles
sunday - rest

This is all at a 13:30 min pace since I need to complete it in 6 hours and I can not go too fast right now and I do not want to get hurt.

This is assuming I get in

tonight I hope to ask Stephanie out. Tomorrow I hope not to fall with my new clipsless pedals.

Also no alcohol this week. I found out from the new cal calculator I need in theory 4400 cals to stay my weight so I am going to not drink and see how that effects my weight. I should not effect it but might as well found out for myself.

Gay Games

"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying." - Michael Jordan

I might be competing in the gay games. Maybe it was a drunken bomfire idea, but I was out there and I heard they do not descrimate based on your sexuality in order to run. So I think I may run it but they better have a finshers medal. Right now that is the only thing standing in my way. Ok its 4 weeks away and I only well ran 3 miles this weekend but I did it at about 11:00 min pace. last 3 miles I walk ran at a 14:00 min pace. Right now I know I need Yoga and so that is what I am trying to do. I got a new tv and I hooked up my VCR to it so now I can watch video tapes in my room. This will help with my Yoga. I just need a DVD player though.

The marathon though has a 6 hour time limit and its in end end of July. They also have a half marathon the same day.

1 week before they have a triathlon and that could be fun also to run. I am waiting to find out from Lora how hers went. If she liked it then I know I could. I missed seeing her because well I slept in on Sunday. I was so tired and I got very drunk at the fire. Good news though when the cop pulled me over I got away with my drinking and latter driving. Nah one reason I stayed so late was so I could sober up. Julie A was concerened and offered to drive me home. She is a sweetheart. Also Stephanie knows something is going on so I think I will just go out and tell her what is going on and hopely that would be a good thing.

13 minutes of fame

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
Last night I shook the hand of Carey Pincowski. Ok I bet I spelled his name wrong but he was cool. I told me teh secret to the CDC I so want to run it now. Maybe I can do both the Howl at the moon and the CDC. Kinda the reverse goofy. Both I would have to take slow but I heard I can do both. Interesting idea huh?

Stephanie wanted to make sure I was going to Mary's saturday night. Maybe she is being friendly or maybe she wants to see me again. Chances are she may not come out running on saturday ever again. She complained it was too hot. Running is all about heat hehe jk. Running is about doing your best when you are out there. If you can not run your best you slow down. Unlike biking were you know your always going 15 mph less than you should I you have to kill youself trying to get to that speed.

speaking of running last night I ran time I think was decent. I do not have my garmin with me right now but the results are basicly as follow.

mile 1 11:32
mile 2 11:11
mile 3 13:32
mile 4 13:45
mile 5 12:36

Maybe I went out too fast, but the 2 big things about this I like 1) I was only I think 3 minutes behind pace. 2) I was out there for less time than last week and I did 1 more mile.

I hear much support for the monoarchy

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein.

Friday was cool. I had money I bought new biking shoes. See even though I hate the bike and the bike hates me I still plan on using it 2x a week. Wednesdays and Sundays but I did not ride this Sunday because of the rain.

Thursday was cool. I ran a 9:30 minute mile and after that I crashed. Ok it would been about a 9:00 or so but that is when I fell apart and pretty much went back to just walking the rest of the 4 miles. Last time I felt this way was when I getting back into running after trying my long walks techique to better lose weight. That btw did not work. Cals in vs cals out and cals out was alot but cals in was still too much.

Saturday I ran the longest I ran in 8 weeks. I ran the first 2 2/1 miles while running the course backwards to try to find laura who's car I could not find in the lot. I did not find her and I was sad. No Lora, no Reen, and no John. Man I make my big return to running and everyone was away. Maybe that is why Kim left. Why run when your all alone. I am used to it. Even when I would run with Lora I would be alone in my world. :) jk

Saturday night I was going to go out and met this girl who wants to go on a date with me. Well I get there 4:45 and she was swimming I guess. At 5:45 I get ahold of hear after I ate dinner and she was at Wal mart. We were going to met her friend's campground cottage. I waited at the entrence and looked at my cell phone at 6:22. She txt me at 6:01 saying the girls mom is there and I can not go there. I called her she kinda said a few things and hung up on me. Well she text me a few bs things why she could not see me and at 8:00 I left. It takes about 45 to 50 minutes to get to her so basicly I wasted 5 hours on a girl. People sometimes why I like older women. now you know why. 20 something girls drive me crazy in a bad way. Too busy playing stupid games. If your scared or freaked out or something then saty soemthiung. I rather go home and waste 3 hours then to waste 5 hours and wonder wtf. oh well. So saturday I felt so rejected. I then went to the only place a guy never gets rejected. I felt better after that but spent too much money.

Total Deja Vue Batman

Don't you hate Deja vue. Worse than feeling you been here before but you can tell little things that are about to happen or get a feeling what is coming next. Atleast I feel when I get them that I am doing something I am suppose to do. I just wish the future could be understood better but its too hazy. I just think something big is coming.

Guess Who's back?

"Guess who's back, back again Shady's back, tell a friend Guess who's back, guess who's back, Guess who's back. Guess who's back" without me - eminem

I have so missed the slim shady. He was well missed and for good reason. ok you want to know what the heck am I talking about? Well its easy. I am talking about running. I have no pain at all today. I am free of the pain monster. I have sore muscles since I have not used them in so long but it feels good to be sore. I plan on going to Lake Arlington tomorrow for the run that no one shows up to anymore. hehe. give it a few weeks when marathon season starts people will be out there alot I am sure.

Beauty of it is its right on the way home and really does not cost me much to do it. Last summer I had to drive to work those days so it cost me alot for all that extra travel. I guess I could have learnt how to take the train there but I was only there for like 4 weeks because I I learnt about it I was about to go back to school.

I wanted to follow the marathon training guide but I added at Ultra at the way way point which will normally be a 15 mile day. I am going to take the Ultra easy and Julie A said it should be ok because its all on trails. I am not worried about the pounding as much as the distance.

lucky for me the next week is only 11 miles. Nothing like a step back week to recover from an ultra. Also the last 20 miler out of the 2 I will do in Milwakee during the milwakee marathon. I need to find one for the 20 miler that is 2 week ahead of it since I want to keep up my ban on not going above 20 miles without a medal.

Lora is evil and mean and nasty. She wants to do a 100 miler on a bile. I wanted to do that for awhile myself. I thought about 40 miles this weekend over the saturday run jsut to give myself more time but then I though if Stephanie come out on saturday it might be a good chance to make my move.

there are a few maratons on the weekend of first 20 and one is the location I want but the course is not certified. I need to run on only certifed courses for 50 states club. Since I did not get into NY I need another marathon. I been thinking about London but that is techically next year.

I want to kill Julia A.

ok Julia A is a real sweetheart and I love her so much. But she really knows how to embrasses a guy. There is this girl on tuesday named Stepahnie. She is cute and likes to run but she is more of a biker than a runner. I really do not like the bike mostly because I miss running. ITs my love and pasion. I missed it so very very much. I was gone for 8 weeks. Tonight I ran. first mile was 11:00 but after that alot slower. I completef about 4 1/2 miles in 58 mins or so. I burnt over 300 more calories. Julie was like do you have a bf? she was like no. Then julie said well jsut in case any 30 year old guys in the club wanted to know. I am the token 30 year old man of the group.

I plan on biking tomorrow. IT will be ok. I kinda missed it actually. I guess I got used to it and running is hard to get back into it. I had the biggest smile on my face tonight. I so missed runnin. I took i easy because I did not want to push it. I thought maybe I should have surpised everyone on saturday but why do that when you can just show up and run, and everyone would be so happy your back. Funny how not running in 8 weeks and yet old running injuries or pains come back instantly. weird. I know I need work on my form. I caught myself having bad for early. if I am not in pain tomorrow I know what I need to start doing. Stretching alot and lossing my body up again.

welight is up but I am up to 50% luiquid also so that is good. from 42% to 50%.

Guess what I am going to do tonight?

If you said Biking 50 miles you would be wrong.

If you said kiss a girl well I hope you are right but I am sure you will be wrong

If you said go out even biking any distance you also would be wrong

Tonight I try running.

Last night I walked 3 miles and ran 1/2 miles. New shoes suck to run in and its been 8 weeks since I really ran any distance. The tendon is still a little swellow but not much. I have no pain last night and no pain today. I figure I will go and run and then ice it right away. That should really help prevent anymore problems. I am going to take it easy and slow and probably really do a run walk. This may mean I am back baby. I will let you all know tommorrow.

Yesterday I was not all that sore or tired from teh ride but I was sundaynight. I am glad to hear that lora had to sleep on the way home since it made me feel better then. I know I struggled and if she tired at the end I know I am not too far off.

I should my blog pic to my sister and parents and it is also my background at work now. They asked if I was secretly in love with Lora and I told them I was not. There is nothing secret about it. :). Lora is great I just hope I remmeber the gift I got for her on my way home from wisconsin. I know its something she will just love. It screamed Lora.

newest member of the half century club

Who is this good looking group?

This was mid way point for the 30 mile biking we were going to do. It turns out Lora wanted to do 50 miles and since she wanted to do it I am alwas more than happy to help out. I felt in good shape. I was tired though and I was so glad we were at 15. I was already quite tired. But what would I not do for Lora? Ok I did tell Lora it would take alot more than a pretty smile to get me to do another 20 miles. I almost had them sag me several times. I wanted to finish the half century. hehe I think Haight liked the fact I would go since then he did not have to go nor did he have to worry about Lora. She was a real sweetheart. She would wait for me as I walked up the really big hills. A hybrid is a little slower than a road bike and I am also not used to bike riding.

Mile 30 was pretty amasing for me. Lora and I were at the corner of a this road. She was yet again waiting for me. The thing about that was I I ave gone farther on foot. So many people I know ahve ran 50 miles and yet I struggled with it on a bike. Then again I was biking alot faster than them and I am not trained on the bike. REally its the lact of training. my muscles are sore and yes its muscles I am not used to. I was tired and sore but I did feel I would run a little. This is good for a triathlon. I really want to do one of those.

I am glad I did not sag myself off the course. I know I really need to train more on the Bike if I want to do these kind of things. Well I do it next weekend? maybe. its good to get involved with people who can help you out but my love will always be for running.

OMG what to do

I am looking over my marathon training this summer and Howl at the moon is the same weekend as tghe Chicago Distance Classic. Man ultra vs half marathon. I guess I have to go with the Ultra since I got a tent and everything for it.

Also the 2 bears marathon is perfect timing for my first 20 milers and same as billings. It would be cool to be able to do both but would I be able to do back to back marathons?

Grizzely marathon which is August 17 1 week after howl at the moon I am worried about doing but I would love to see my friend again and I taking mary's advice. run a marathon and then visit with old friends. how can I do back/back if I am worried about 2 weekends in a row. What is a man to do?

Getting better

I am starting to enjoy the bike more and getting out longer. help came from Julia A who told me about a path to ride on. ITs fun you ahve to watch out for dear, but the idea is you do not have to stop and dodge cars all day which really is not fun. I been finding some really long paths locally including one that goes from chicago to Iowa. I also was reminded by Stephanie and MAry about camalbacks which I should totally get one. I can not really use a water bottle while biking. drinking is not too bad but getting the water is tough and getting it back in is even tougher. I use it now for if I get stopped crossing 12. One thing is biking in Kildeer at night is cool. Its like camping but people with bike houses and you can not go through peoplle's lawns. I am expecting to be arrest one of these days for being there. I do not think they allow people with less than 1 mil in there area. I been pulled over by them before for doing nothing.

speaking of nothing last friday LZ finest pulled me over for not wearing a seat belt. Ironicly I was. I was able to talk my way out of it and the proof that I had it on helped also I think. I guess I was picking up stuff on the floor and she assumed I took my belt off for it. I just have long arms. It caused me to be late for work though.

I am not sure if I will go up to wisconsin tomorrow for there ride. I will miss bagels and all of that plus I may not have anyone to ride with up there or atleast anyone cool.

Reen is so lucky

I can not beleive it. Myself, Lora, Lawson, Mary-ann, Sawyer, bob sharm, and many others did not get in.I looked and then I saw reen and bam she got in. Only one of us who can not run New York got in. I can not beleive it.
There is always next year.

starting to drink more water. realised I have not been drinking enough when I been crapping up ever night for the last 2 nights.

past love

Within a weel of going to college in my second year I met this girl. She is pictures on the left. She was so beautiful and so interesting. I was so interested in her. I lost my chance early on and I was content to be her friend. Every relationship I really had has failed because of jealous over her. Even though nothing eally gone on between us I always felt a spark. I never tried anything with her when I had a gf and really did not try anything when I did not either. I still loved her more than anything and I always felt she lvoed me atleast in some ways. It was not until I was going to get married that she finally got engaged. Sometimes I wonder if she did that because I was going to be un avaible. Do not get me wrong I loved the girl I was looking to marry. When my ex gf got married I did not shed one tear. When Heather got married I cried all afternoon which was bad since I was at work when I saw the picture. We had sieeus but I thought we worked them out. I was wrong. She left me high and dry after I spent $100 on her so we could spend the day togher. It hurt me more than anything has hurt me before. Not even I am sorry. she just ignored me. Like 9/11 I thought it was a mistake a omg I can not beleive this happened but later I found out it was on purpose. I still miss her to this date. Girl on the left was her old roommate. I did have a thing for her and I did love spending time with her. She was some kind of wonderful. She was to me in one side of my personaluty is Julie A is to another. She was no Heather. I think of Heather as the girl who got away. Sad thing is I probablt driver her away on purpose. I reaslly do not know.

This weekend

Friday. I forgot to mention I was pulled for by cop for not wearing my seat belt. ironicly of course I was wearing my seat belt like I always do. Atleast the cop beleived me. I almost took it off. I am not sure why when I get pulled over I always want to take my seat belt off. Maybe because I turned the car engine off and its always the first thing I do.

Saturday I biked for about 1 hour. I bike through cuba marsh and back home. It was nice I got up to 24 mph going down Cuba rd there. It was pretty cool.

Sunday. I hit 2 buckets of balls at the driving range. John would be so proud because my distance is getting much better. I am so happy. I biked down through Cuba Marsh again and down long grove Rd. They have a real nice bike lane down long grove rd. You do not have to stop for over a mile easy. Its pretty sweet. Alot of hills though. Sunday I got up to 25 mph down that hill by Cuba. What can I say I really wanted to make that light. This weekend is the big bike ride over in Wisconsin. I hope to make it. Stephanie will be there. She is cool. Too bad I doubt I will be able to keep up with her. Hyrids are kinda slow bikes. I know I could not ride in Cuba marsh without one. Even so I am still nervous around some couners and at some down hills.

Good news is my foot has not bothered me in days at all. No pain at all. Only when I am going my yoga which I did saturday and Sunday did it hurt a little bit. That is such a good sign. I really can no wait to get out there. Running is so weird. Its very ahrd for me. I can not run with the others really so I run alone alot. Yet I am still out there doing it time and time again. I wish I knew why. Well maybe its because of Lora, Reen, Julia A, Julie B, Beth, and John.

I am planning on giving a check to Beth for the training program on tuesday. I am sure I will be out there by then. I should be training now for the marathon since I am planning on doing milwakee but for now I will do the bike because the more I do it the easier the return will be. I jsut do not like how my feet keep getting bigger. I can not afford to go into size 16.

ok ok ok

ok I did not dream of Reen but I put Lora in my title so much I started feeling bad. Yes I do not want to show favorites at all. Well unless its like to favor someone who does not even read this ever. If they did I would probably get scared. My beth dream I know comes that I saw Beth's sister again and It always blows my mind away when I do.

Last night I had the best biking since bike the drive. I only biked for 30 mins and some of that was in the drive through at my bank. 2 days into work and I get paid. how sweet is that? My front wheel almost came off and so did my seat. I could fix the wheel but not the seat. I learnt that I need to keep some alan wretches in my little carring case. I love that case. I was not messuring my speed or heart rate so I did not put pressure on myself to go fast. I was going to ride the 8 mile course alteast most of the back 8 miles. actually I want to ride miles 4 - 9 really. That is easy to do when you live off mile 9. :)

Foot is feeling ALOT better. still hurts some and I had to becareful when I did yoga last night but it was fun. Well it was really really hard. My stomach is so sore but since the EC trail marathon I know I need to build up my core. I was running really well until my core gave out on me.

Goal tonight is to try to ride again. Maybe I will leave the garmin at home this time also. nah. I will bring it but maybe I will not look at it or atleast try not too. I think the running course might be good to bike since it has only a few stop signs. REally the thing I do not like about riding is all the stopping/starting.