past love

Within a weel of going to college in my second year I met this girl. She is pictures on the left. She was so beautiful and so interesting. I was so interested in her. I lost my chance early on and I was content to be her friend. Every relationship I really had has failed because of jealous over her. Even though nothing eally gone on between us I always felt a spark. I never tried anything with her when I had a gf and really did not try anything when I did not either. I still loved her more than anything and I always felt she lvoed me atleast in some ways. It was not until I was going to get married that she finally got engaged. Sometimes I wonder if she did that because I was going to be un avaible. Do not get me wrong I loved the girl I was looking to marry. When my ex gf got married I did not shed one tear. When Heather got married I cried all afternoon which was bad since I was at work when I saw the picture. We had sieeus but I thought we worked them out. I was wrong. She left me high and dry after I spent $100 on her so we could spend the day togher. It hurt me more than anything has hurt me before. Not even I am sorry. she just ignored me. Like 9/11 I thought it was a mistake a omg I can not beleive this happened but later I found out it was on purpose. I still miss her to this date. Girl on the left was her old roommate. I did have a thing for her and I did love spending time with her. She was some kind of wonderful. She was to me in one side of my personaluty is Julie A is to another. She was no Heather. I think of Heather as the girl who got away. Sad thing is I probablt driver her away on purpose. I reaslly do not know.