Lora please forgive me

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. " --Mahatma Gandhi

Well I do not know why I am waiting for tomorrow to join the gym but I am. I could go there right now and join and then start swimming even tonight. thinking about a movie though.

Reason 1:

Satuday. my dreams of running 14 miles were dashed when well I got up at 7:05. Opps. I raced out of bed ran the course backwards and only lost about 1 1/2 miles with john. Also john and I did 8 instead of the 7 so I only did 1/2 mile less so that is ok. John was really dying out there. I told him I was not going to leave him and would stick it out with him. He was not is usualy happy talkitive self. He was in hell. Now I read Lora's blog I realised this week I could in theory have ran the correct distnace with Lora and her trainaing program. My goal was to do about 14 to 15 miles though really but still. Did not see Reen. So sad. Told John she talked about coming out so he was excited. I think I let him down.

Reason 2:

I road for almost 2 hours on the bike today. I tried out a couple of trails by my house, and almost fell a few times. It has been 2 weeks I last rode and yet I been thinking about a triathlon again in only a few weeks. I need to ride alot more.

REason 3:

guess what trail I was thinking about doing too to ride weekend. Des plains trail since it feeds into the great Illinois trail. once on the great Illinois trail there is no speed limit per say unless Palatine and Busse woods were I ended up biking. In Busse I still avg 12 mph which is 4 over the legal limit. Opps. no only could have seen Lora on saturday but I could have ran over her new friend while I went omg its you. Sidenote there was a deer on the trail and my bell on my bike saved my life since I could hit the bell and the deer moved and her baby followed after her. It was so cute.

Reason 4

Running over people. I like to run people over on a bike. ok not really because then I have to clic out and I am scared to stop on my bike.

reason 5

I am thinking about a garmin edge 305 for my bike. It is very much like the garmin forerunner 305 and give more information for the bike. The candese senese is about $50 and you can get it with the edge for about $250. so you get the edge GPS for only $200 but am I crazy for waiting the better computer for my bike even with a slow bike.

Reason 6

I am thinking about quiting the Alpine Runners. I am not sure why. Maybe because Lora is not there anymore and they all look at me like why did you drive her away. I guess I just been feeling like an outsider lately and then Julie B said something to me that really made me go maybe I am not crazy. "Just that people will like you more as they get to know you. And there are some people in this club that are very superficial. and there are people that talk about others." Well I know they talk about Earl alot and never a good way and I wonder if I get the same reaction from people. A former friend of mine said a few things to me I guess it really made me think. Makes me wonder how many people would miss me if I am gone. Lora obviously every misses her. If they do not well I make sure they do. :)

NOt sure what I am going to do in my life. I guess I feel I am on the verge of great change and until I find out what it is I guess I feel a little bit on edge.